I'm still alive. I've found a full time job as a bank teller, moved out of my parents' house and am living with my best friend, started riding and then stopped again, I think things are working out on the relationship front, and I'm getting a kitten.
Oh, and apparently I'm taking up running. Not sure whose bright idea that was.
http://pandaruns.blogspot.com
I can't decide if I'm happy. And I don't know what to do next. But things are alright.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Judge Judy kicks ass!
I'm sitting in the TV room, watching Judge Judy while I knit and chow down on licourice. Yes, very funny. You can stop mocking me now. I'm enjoying myself, thank you very much!
Anyways, I adore Judge Judy. She's a hardcore bitch, and she doesn't hesitate to slam stupid people. I joke that I aspire to be like her, but realistically - how awful would our lives be if everyone was like that? But it's nice to spend half an hour watching the drama every once in a while (or every morning at 11:00am, on channel 4 *shifty eyes*).
Ugh. Judge Joe Brown is on right now, and he just doesn't have the pizzazz that Judy does :(
Back to Judy:
A lady lent her then-boyfriend $5000 to make renovations on his house, with the understanding that she would get paid back when the house sold. The market went to pieces, the man couldn't afford the mortgage payments, and the house was foreclosed. He had already paid $2000 back to the woman, she was here suing him for the remaining $3000 and interest. There was no written contract. Judge Judy ended up deciding in favour of the man because of a gaping loophole - the verbal contract stated that the woman would only be paid in event of the sale of the house. Since that never happened, the man owes the woman nothing.
1) Get it in writing! After the decision, the woman started going on about how that's not really how it was intended, blah blah blah. At least if she had it in writing, there would be certainty.
2) Get a real lawyer to do it! Any lawyer worth anything would have been able to pick out the problems and advise the woman on how to protect herself financially.
3) If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is! High risk investments have high potential returns - but there is a very good chance that you won't see any of that money ever again. If you definitely want your money back, buy a government savings bond at 1% annual interest.
4) There is probably a reason the bank won't lend them money! My business law professor made this point. Banks are fairly conservative, and they are in the business of making money. They WANT to give everyone loans - if they have chosen not to, that means they think there is a good chance they won't get their money back. Why should you, with much more limited resources, take such a high risk investment?
It's just so frustrating how blind people can be sometimes. Sure, the people on the court shows aren't the creme de la creme of society, but there are tons of people just like them who are getting screwed just like them. Really, what is wrong with our education systems? Shouldn't they be teaching common sense along with fractions and history?
Anyways, I adore Judge Judy. She's a hardcore bitch, and she doesn't hesitate to slam stupid people. I joke that I aspire to be like her, but realistically - how awful would our lives be if everyone was like that? But it's nice to spend half an hour watching the drama every once in a while (or every morning at 11:00am, on channel 4 *shifty eyes*).
Ugh. Judge Joe Brown is on right now, and he just doesn't have the pizzazz that Judy does :(
Back to Judy:
A lady lent her then-boyfriend $5000 to make renovations on his house, with the understanding that she would get paid back when the house sold. The market went to pieces, the man couldn't afford the mortgage payments, and the house was foreclosed. He had already paid $2000 back to the woman, she was here suing him for the remaining $3000 and interest. There was no written contract. Judge Judy ended up deciding in favour of the man because of a gaping loophole - the verbal contract stated that the woman would only be paid in event of the sale of the house. Since that never happened, the man owes the woman nothing.
1) Get it in writing! After the decision, the woman started going on about how that's not really how it was intended, blah blah blah. At least if she had it in writing, there would be certainty.
2) Get a real lawyer to do it! Any lawyer worth anything would have been able to pick out the problems and advise the woman on how to protect herself financially.
3) If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is! High risk investments have high potential returns - but there is a very good chance that you won't see any of that money ever again. If you definitely want your money back, buy a government savings bond at 1% annual interest.
4) There is probably a reason the bank won't lend them money! My business law professor made this point. Banks are fairly conservative, and they are in the business of making money. They WANT to give everyone loans - if they have chosen not to, that means they think there is a good chance they won't get their money back. Why should you, with much more limited resources, take such a high risk investment?
It's just so frustrating how blind people can be sometimes. Sure, the people on the court shows aren't the creme de la creme of society, but there are tons of people just like them who are getting screwed just like them. Really, what is wrong with our education systems? Shouldn't they be teaching common sense along with fractions and history?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
I Am a Piece of Work
I always put things on my computer chair. I am too lazy to put them away, and I figure that the chair is better than the ground (this is how I justify not putting them away). But when I want to go on my computer, I always end up sitting on the things (I don't want to dump them on the floor, because there goes my justification - apparently putting them away at that point is not an option). Unfortunately, this makes my chair really freaking uncomfortable. I squirm, and perch on the edge, and wiggle to squoosh things down. The chair just isn't the right shape with a pile of clothes on it. Books are even less comfortable. At some point I get extremely frustrated and agitated, and hurl the objects to the floor. (How dare they sit in my chair? They deserve what they get. Of course, I will pick them up tomorrow.) I can't even find the words to explain how comfortable my computer chair is once I get rid of the stuff sitting on it. It feels how a chair is supposed to.
So why will I pile more stuff on it tomorrow?
So why will I pile more stuff on it tomorrow?
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
More Carbs, Please
I am having the ultimate fat-ass dinner.
Spaghetti with tomato sauce... ON TOP OF buttered bread. And now that I am out of bread, I will finish the spaghetti by itself.
For dessert, I am eating a Lindt easter bunny.
I might as well tape the bread to my ass and wear the spaghetti in a fanny pack around my waist...
Did I mention I am blissfully, blissfully happy?
Spaghetti with tomato sauce... ON TOP OF buttered bread. And now that I am out of bread, I will finish the spaghetti by itself.
For dessert, I am eating a Lindt easter bunny.
I might as well tape the bread to my ass and wear the spaghetti in a fanny pack around my waist...
Did I mention I am blissfully, blissfully happy?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
The Best Cookies In The World
I have certain prominent character flaws - as a result of one or more of these, as soon as this blog starts feeling like an obligation I will stop writing in it. It's going to happen from time to time, no doubt about it. If I apologize for not writing in a long time every time I go on hiatus, it seems like I will be beginning each blog entry by explaining my absense and begging your forgiveness. Rather than doing that, I will just let this statement and apology of sorts apply to all future postings :)
So. Back to cookies. I used to work for Tim Hortons. They are always coming up with "new and exciting" deals and combos... but really, most of the food being pushed in their ads are just renamed (Creamy Field Mushroom soup instead of plain old Mushroom Soup) or they have some basic ingredients shuffled around. Until the cookie campaign.
At some point, they came out with some "new and exciting" cookies. Caramel Chocolate Pecan Cookies. They were glorious. Sweet cookie, soft chocolate, chewy puddles of caramel... pure bliss. And they sold them for 6 for $1.99. That's just evil. They were the best cookies I had ever tasted, and I devoured them with glee.
Much more recently, they had another cookie campaign. They made their cookies bigger, better... or some shit like that. Essentially, they ruined the Caramel Chocolate Pecan Cookie. They're thicker, and just have a general caramel flavouring. The little chewy puddles are gone. They just aren't any good at all.... I would rather eat a plain old chocolate chip cookie. And that is sad.
They were my favourite cookies... and I am afraid that I will never see them again.
Why, Tim Hortons, Why?!
So. Back to cookies. I used to work for Tim Hortons. They are always coming up with "new and exciting" deals and combos... but really, most of the food being pushed in their ads are just renamed (Creamy Field Mushroom soup instead of plain old Mushroom Soup) or they have some basic ingredients shuffled around. Until the cookie campaign.
At some point, they came out with some "new and exciting" cookies. Caramel Chocolate Pecan Cookies. They were glorious. Sweet cookie, soft chocolate, chewy puddles of caramel... pure bliss. And they sold them for 6 for $1.99. That's just evil. They were the best cookies I had ever tasted, and I devoured them with glee.
Much more recently, they had another cookie campaign. They made their cookies bigger, better... or some shit like that. Essentially, they ruined the Caramel Chocolate Pecan Cookie. They're thicker, and just have a general caramel flavouring. The little chewy puddles are gone. They just aren't any good at all.... I would rather eat a plain old chocolate chip cookie. And that is sad.
They were my favourite cookies... and I am afraid that I will never see them again.
Why, Tim Hortons, Why?!
Friday, November 14, 2008
I Rescued A Human Today
Reposted from a forum I frequent - if you know who the credit goes to, let me know.
Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her. I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid.
As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn't want her to know that I hadn't been walked today. Sometimes the shelter keepers get too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them.
As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone's life. She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her.
Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.
Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms. I would promise to keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes. I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven't walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.
I rescued a human today.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Featured Blog: Why Women Hate Men
As someone who spends way too much time on the Interwebz, I've come across some pretty awesome stuff. Inspiration blogs, informative equestrian writers, and sites with tasteless humour. In order to share the love I'm going to try to give each of my favourite blogs and websites a bit of commentary, as I get a chance.
Today, I'm recommending the blog Why Women Hate Men. If this blog doesn't make you laugh, you're lame. The blogger is a man who goes by the name of "Weasel". In his blog, he mocks men for their ridiculous and disgusting personal ads. If you've never taken a look at some of the personal ads men post online, I suggest you make your way to your local Kijiji or Craigslist. If nothing else, it will assure you that Weasel really doesn't fabricate his material. He doesn't need to.
Most of the pictures posted have the faces blurred or "twirled". Weasel maintains that although it would be legal for him to post these photos as he found them, his goal is not to break up marriages. The men seem do be doing that just fine on their own. There isn't a whole lot of nudity posted on the blog. I should warn you, if you follow my earlier advice and start checking out personal ads, be prepared to see a lot of cock - it will really make you appreciate the sacrifices Weasel makes by viewing these ads uncensored.
My favourite part about the blog is how entertaining it is to read. Weasel is a really good writer. The imagery and analogies he provides are fantastic. His writing style reminds me a lot of Neil Gaiman, though: you find yourself agreeing with what he says, and you are impressed with his wittiness - but you can only take so much of it before it starts to get a little too repetitious. By which I mean it is great fun to keep up with the blog - but reading through it from start to finish like I did was a bit much.
I recommend this blog 100% - go read it!
And here are some quotes to get you hooked:
Today, I'm recommending the blog Why Women Hate Men. If this blog doesn't make you laugh, you're lame. The blogger is a man who goes by the name of "Weasel". In his blog, he mocks men for their ridiculous and disgusting personal ads. If you've never taken a look at some of the personal ads men post online, I suggest you make your way to your local Kijiji or Craigslist. If nothing else, it will assure you that Weasel really doesn't fabricate his material. He doesn't need to.
Most of the pictures posted have the faces blurred or "twirled". Weasel maintains that although it would be legal for him to post these photos as he found them, his goal is not to break up marriages. The men seem do be doing that just fine on their own. There isn't a whole lot of nudity posted on the blog. I should warn you, if you follow my earlier advice and start checking out personal ads, be prepared to see a lot of cock - it will really make you appreciate the sacrifices Weasel makes by viewing these ads uncensored.
My favourite part about the blog is how entertaining it is to read. Weasel is a really good writer. The imagery and analogies he provides are fantastic. His writing style reminds me a lot of Neil Gaiman, though: you find yourself agreeing with what he says, and you are impressed with his wittiness - but you can only take so much of it before it starts to get a little too repetitious. By which I mean it is great fun to keep up with the blog - but reading through it from start to finish like I did was a bit much.
I recommend this blog 100% - go read it!
And here are some quotes to get you hooked:
"Yes, just visualizing my finely striated buttocks, Hershey Kiss nipples, and ample, teasing manpouch may make your uterus expand like a Wal-Mart SuperStore onto federally protected wetlands. You must accept that I am a feral tree mynx, a man so fertile I could impregnate a box of Safeway plums with only heavy breath and juicy eyewink."
"Menstruation is a natural process. But women tend to treat it like they'd been stabbed at random by a homeless man in the train station. They're emotionally confused and distraught, they're bleeding, they're angry, they're defensive, and they sure as shit don't want to do the fucking dishes you fucking goddamn cocksucker, but you can't even do them right anyhow you fucking shit-for-brains asshole, it's not like you ever buy me anything anyway. Oh, sorry... I was menstruating. I got a little hysterical."
"If unabashed male self-confidence is the lube that moistens a womans libido, male vanity is the sponge that sucks it drier than the sun-chapped salt-ringed asslips of a dehydrated Somali pack camel.""Unfortunately, nine times out of ten the guy that brags about his sexual prowess couldn't excite a loyal dog after a six month vacation. The shy, nerdy guy in the corner reading a book about Indian pottery? He'll fuck you so hard you'll burp up a half-digested bedpost into a pile of shredded pillows while your vagina fills out the assault paperwork."
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