These are some of the random questions I took from the Blogger profile page. I would be interested in hearing any good answers:
This is a nonsense question, and it would require a nonsense answer. I will not stoop to its level.
If you have a bow but have run out of arrows, how can you fake being a bard?
Pretend the bow is a harp. You would have to tie more strings to it. Hopefully no one asks you to play.
When you've got water stuck in your ear, how do you get it out?
Jump up and down with my head tilted to one side like a retarded owl. Then switch sides.
Whoops! Your tongue is now a magnet. Whatever will you use for silverware?
I hate to state the obvious... but plasticware? Fingers? I don't think that losing the use of silverware would be much of a handicap at all.
If you drive on a parkway why don't they make the whole plane out of that?
Because it would be too heavy to fly, and the people in the cars wouldn't like falling from the sky.
You've successfully slain the dragon! How will you toast your marshmallows?
Oh drat, I didn't think of that. I don't know how to build a fire, and it's been raining. And I HATE untoasted marshmallows.
If you could peer far enough into the night sky, you'd see a star in any direction you looked. When would you sleep?
I suppose at some point you would have to stop stargazing and close your eyes for a bit. Hopefully it's not too bright.
Never mind the turtle. Don't you think you're sure to win?
No, us rabbits suck at getting things done. We get distracted too easily. Damn turtles.
When you hesitate before hitting snooze on your alarm clock, are you being lazy?
Indubitably.
When you spilled the milk, did it look like the moon?
No, it looked like a waterfall because it was spilling off the counter.
Why does the color blue mean raspberry-flavored?
Wikipedia says: "The artificial blue raspberry flavour originally derived from blue whitebark raspberry fruit juice, became an artificial designer product in the late 1950s. It is often accompanied with blue food coloring; the coloring of blue raspberry also helps it to be differentiated from strawberry flavored drinks." I feel bad for raspberry. Why would cherry and strawberry get to be pink, but raspberry is forced to be blue? Although it is such a pretty blue...
The squish of mud between your toes; how would you live your life as a frog?
I would live in British Columbia, where it is kind of warm and there is lots of nice rain (I would think it was nice if I were a froggy). I would hop around, and make friends with the fieldmice.
Lionesses have no manes. How do they know when they've grown up?
That is beyond the scope of this blog, because it's dirty!
You've been invited to a fancy ball but the only thing you have to wear is an orange wooly jumper. What shoes do you wear?
Black, strappy, stiletto sandals. Preferably with some sort of bling. Go big or go home.
You moved the pot before the coffee stopped brewing. Do you smell the mountains or the burro?
I think I smell burnt coffee. I wish I had a burro... and mountains to ride him in.
You're going to the moon! What did you forget to pack?
Crayons.
Radio wire is often used to make bird nests. What station do they listen to?
Poor birds... they must be the ones that live in the ghetto. I think they would listen to classical music. If they are blue jays, they listen to FM96 (rock).
If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner?
A pelt of people hair. Why not go all out?
For your birthday, your aunt gave you a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. Please write her a thank-you note:
Thank you for the sticky cock, Aunt Mabel. Love: Your niece.
You have to dig a hole to China. Where do you start?
A country next to China... then you don't have very far to go. A foot away from the border, preferably. Did you know that China shares land borders with 14 countries, according to WikiAnswers? Mongolia, Russia, North Korea, Vietnam, Laos, Myanmar, India, Bhutan, Nepal, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan. I think the best bet would be India... although they're all pretty scary places.
When you open your eyes underwater, do you ever worry that you'll drown?
I do not open my eyes underwater, so I don't know the answer to that question.
If you were a wrestler, what would be your finishing move?
Wow, I am so unprepared for this question.
Sponges and tongues are frequently misspelled. Is it because both are thirsty?
I don't think that can be considered an official diagnosis, but it's certainly a possibility.
What reason do you have to believe the earth is flat?
Because the only reason I know that it is round is because other people have told me so.
Ok, so the answers are total bull. But I thought the questions were hilarious... I wonder who made them up.
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